Keeping Up With The #Kardashians / #fuckingcrap

Mike King Is Now Mike The Mouse! 

 

Mike Mouse enjoys a bottle of grated Romano cheese.

Note:

The levity of this piece is not intended to mitigate the serious nature of the Satanic evil being inflicted upon America with this Bruce Jenner madness. It's just that, well, we need to laugh sometimes. It's good therapy.

Courage, like cowardice, is contagious; and it took enormous "courage" for the 1976 Olympic Champion and co-star of the culturally iconic "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" to not only declare that he was a "trans-gender"; but to also begin the process of "becoming a woman". It is not for nothing that a Google Search for the term "Bruce Jenner courage" yields an astonishing 11,200,000 results. Now that is some serious "courage"!

Even more "courageous" is his her its willingness to do a multi-million dollar 'Reality TV' show about her journey to womanhood. What a set of balls, eh?! Or, should we say, ex-balls? Well, you know what I mean.

1- You've come a long way, baby. Congratulations Bruce Caitlyn Jenner.

2- Emperor Elagabalus was also "courageous". Rome's tranny-teen Emperor would cake-on the

make-up and prostitute himself in taverns, brothels, and even the Imperial Palace. He was murdered in 222 by trans-phobic Praetorian Guards after only a four-year reign.

The intolerant may not approve of Jenner's decision to become a woman, and some will not approve of the decision which I am announcing today - a choice which has already shaken my elderly parents to the core and alienated my grown kids. Too bad for them. The heroic display of "courage" demonstrated by Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner has inspired me to finally come out with this deep dark secret that I have kept hidden from family, friends, readers, and, in some ways, myself.

All that I ask of my loyal readers is for a bit of "tolerance", along with continued readership and financial support. My decision is personal and it is my business. Be assured that this will have no impact whatsoever upon the quality of my research and writing. Nonetheless, if the bigoted specio-phobes among you wish to terminate your support and trash TomatoBubble.com, then go. Don't let the door hit you in the butt! That being said; here it goes ... (deep breath).

I, Michael S. King, being of sound mind and health, do hereby proudly declare before all of cyber-space: I am a mouse. There. I said it! (So liberating!)

Ever since I was a Cheese Doodle-munching infant, I have known that I was different from the other humans. As a boy, whenever the Ice-Cream truck came to our block, my pals would all order Ice-Creams Sandwiches, Toasted Almonds or Bomb Pops. But not little Mikey. For me, it was 'Cheese Its' with 'Cheese-Wiz' on top.

While other kids chewed bubble-gum, I preferred gnawing on branches and wires. During school lunch, my order was always the same: "Macaroni & Cheese, hold the macaroni". Oh the humiliating ridicule I was forced to endure during those bad old days of intolerant species-supremacy.

I was born this way!

Though we never lacked for food at home, I often preferred dumpster-diving to a "normal" sit-down dinner with the family. What a spanking I got when mom caught me playing in the sewers! And I was grounded for a whole month when I chewed through the gas hose of our backyard grill.

My mouse nature stayed with me throughout adulthood. The first wife cited my kitchen-counter fecal droppings as grounds for divorce. Women. They make mountains out of molehills! Thank God the current one is more "tolerant".

There is no denying it anymore. I am a mouse. For now; only in essence; but soon enough, in physical form as well. I ask all of you to pray for me as I undertake the grueling surgical transition to full-blown mousehood. Pope Francis has already given his blessing to my transformation and offered to wash my feet and private parts. I accepted the pedi, but politely declined the holy hand-job. He understood. This Pope is like sooooo way cool, isn't he?

"If a man wants to become a rodent, and he seeks God, who am I to judge?

- Pope

" During a returning flight from Rio de Janeiro I said that if a homosexual person has goodwill and seeks God, who am I to judge. In saying this, I said what the Catechism says."

The first step in the species-reassignment process will be eye-ball reddening, whisker-insertion surgery and rodent-dental implants. After I have recovered from that, the injection of fur growth hormones and the attachment of a prosthetic tail will be next. And finally, if all goes well, I will have the painful ear-sharpening and nasal-snout extension surgeries a month or so afterwards.

The most painful part of this process will not be the physical transformation. That much I can handle. But having to get rid of my cat, Sugar, is something I dread. With me becoming a mouse and all, well, it just ain't gonna work out. Good bye my little feline friend.

So, say good bye to Mike King, and call me 'Mike the Mouse'. Thanks in advance for your "tolerance". And one more thing. Species-phobic medical plans will not cover the astronomical cost of my surgeries. So, if you enjoy my writings, and are "tolerant" of my decision to become a mouse, then please make a contribution to the surgical fund. See donor rewards at the Donations Page.

All we can do is laugh at what a sick, twisted, demented, demonic freak-show that the Judaized-Marxified West has become. It sure beats crying.